In his journals, published by Jonathan Edwards, Brainerd wrote this:
"God has made me willing to do anything that I can do, consistent with truth, for the sake of peace, and that I might not be a stumbling block to others. For this reason I can cheerfully forego and give up what I verily believe, after the most mature and impartial search, is my right, in some instances. God has given me that disposition that, if this were the case that a man has done me a hundred injuries and I (though ever so much provoked to it) have done him one, I feel disposed and heartily willing humbly to confess my fault to him, and on my knees ask forgiveness of him; though at the same time he should justify himself in all the injuries he has done me and should only make use of my humble confession to blacken my character the more and represent me as the only person guilty."- Dave Harvey , Rescuing Ambition, pg.151.
According to Edwards' accounts of Brainerd's life, he really did mirror this amazing description after a conflict at Yale University where he was expelled and had his pastoral ambitions crushed. Yet, out of Brainerd's failure and expulsion, emerged his diary, which would later inspire numerous missionaries to embark upon a missions call, including William Carey, Robert Murray McCheyne, and Jim Elliot.
There have been times, early in my Christian walk, where I too felt this same humility. As of late, I have been more guilty of spiritual pride than this type of humble submission to the Lord's will. I pray that God would renew my willingness and grant me a disposition that would better glorify Him and represent the gospel of peace.